{"id":88460,"date":"2026-04-08T08:24:59","date_gmt":"2026-04-08T08:24:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/?p=88460"},"modified":"2026-04-08T08:25:00","modified_gmt":"2026-04-08T08:25:00","slug":"perche-il-nostro-amore-diventa-cosi-spesso-possessivo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/?p=88460","title":{"rendered":"Perch\u00e9 il nostro amore diventa cos\u00ec spesso possessivo?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>di\u00a0Krishan Chand Sethi<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/274737.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1005\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/274737-1005x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-88461\" style=\"width:398px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/274737-1005x1024.jpg 1005w, https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/274737-294x300.jpg 294w, https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/274737-768x783.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/274737.jpg 1098w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1005px) 100vw, 1005px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>L\u2019amore raramente proclama la sua metamorfosi. Non dichiara quando trasforma la propria natura. Inizia dolcemente, come una presenza silenziosa, un calore non detto, un sentimento che non cerca attenzione ma che viene donato, per cos\u00ec dire, spontaneamente. L\u2019amore, nella sua forma pi\u00f9 pura, \u00e8 libero. Non mira a controllare, definire o limitare. Esiste semplicemente, come una luce diffusa in uno spazio vuoto.&nbsp;Tuttavia, a un certo punto del percorso, lo stesso amore comincia a soffocare. Il sentimento di libert\u00e0 si trasforma gradualmente in sentimento di controllo. Ci\u00f2 che sembrava fiducia, inizia a dubitare. E ci\u00f2 che concedeva spazio, inizia a temerlo. Non \u00e8 un caso che questo sia un cambiamento silenzioso dell\u2019amore in possessivit\u00e0. \u00c8 profondamente legato alla condizione umana.&nbsp;La vera domanda, tuttavia, non \u00e8 perch\u00e9 l\u2019amore diventi possessivo, ma cosa in noi rende possibile tutto questo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Le comprensioni psicologiche: la paura nel nome dell\u2019amore<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>La radice della possessivit\u00e0 \u00e8 la paura: sottile, inespressa, ma estremamente potente. L\u2019amore puro non \u00e8 codardo. N\u00e9 \u00e8 appiccicoso, poich\u00e9 non si aspetta di perdere. Ma la paura non risparmia gli esseri umani. Siamo consapevoli dell\u2019impermanenza, cio\u00e8 sappiamo che tutto ci\u00f2 che apprezziamo pu\u00f2 esserci tolto.&nbsp;\u00c8 da questa consapevolezza che nasce l\u2019ansia. Quando amiamo qualcuno, quella persona acquisisce importanza per la nostra stabilit\u00e0 emotiva. La sua presenza ci fa sentire confortati, significativi e completi. Ma \u00e8 proprio questa importanza a renderci vulnerabili. La paura di perderla diventa una fonte di ansia.&nbsp;Psicologicamente, la possessivit\u00e0 si sviluppa come un meccanismo di difesa. \u00c8 un tentativo di trattenere ci\u00f2 che appare insicuro. Osserviamo di pi\u00f9, dubitiamo di pi\u00f9, stringiamo di pi\u00f9, non perch\u00e9 amiamo di pi\u00f9, ma perch\u00e9 temiamo di pi\u00f9. In questo senso, la possessivit\u00e0 non manifesta amore; \u00e8 una reazione al panico che l\u2019amore pu\u00f2 generare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Attaccamento e la trappola del possesso<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>L\u2019attaccamento determina le relazioni umane. Fin da piccoli, impariamo ad attaccarci, a dipendere, a trovare sicurezza negli altri. Su questi legami si costruisce il nostro mondo emotivo. Tuttavia, essi creano anche un\u2019illusione: quella che ci\u00f2 a cui siamo legati ci appartenga.&nbsp;Questa illusione \u00e8 particolarmente forte nell\u2019amore. Iniziamo a parlare con linguaggio possessivo: il mio partner, la mia persona, mio. Anche se pu\u00f2 sembrare innocente, \u00e8 un modo sottile di costruire l\u2019idea che l\u2019altro sia un\u2019estensione di noi stessi.&nbsp;\u00c8 qui che l\u2019amore inizia a perdere la sua purezza filosofica. L\u2019amore non appartiene a nessuno; \u00e8 un riconoscimento. \u00c8 il riconoscimento dell\u2019altro come individuo, indipendente e libero. Tuttavia, quando l\u2019attaccamento si trasforma in possesso, iniziamo a confondere la connessione con il controllo.&nbsp;Secondo la filosofia sethiana, l\u2019amore non \u00e8 trattenere, ma uno stato di comprensione. Non riguarda il possedere, ma il vedere. Non teme la distanza, perch\u00e9 sa che la verit\u00e0 non viene consumata dallo spazio. Questa visione ci invita a considerare le relazioni non come qualcosa da possedere, ma da valorizzare.&nbsp;Quando questo equilibrio non viene mantenuto, nasce la possessivit\u00e0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Il ruolo dell\u2019ego: l\u2019identit\u00e0 dell\u2019amore<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un altro livello di questo cambiamento risiede nell\u2019ego umano. L\u2019amore non esiste come emozione pura; si integra nella nostra personalit\u00e0. Quando siamo amati, ci sentiamo valorizzati; quando amiamo, ci sentiamo significativi. Diventa una relazione legata alla percezione di s\u00e9.&nbsp;Quando questo accade, la posta in gioco cambia. Non \u00e8 pi\u00f9 solo connessione, ma validazione. La perdita della persona amata inizia a sembrare come la perdita di una parte di noi stessi.&nbsp;\u00c8 qui che la possessivit\u00e0 si intensifica. Non temiamo solo di perdere l\u2019altro, ma anche la versione di noi stessi che esiste attraverso quella persona. L\u2019ego resiste a questa perdita. Cerca di proteggere la propria identit\u00e0, spesso tentando di dominare la relazione.&nbsp;Nel pensiero sethiano si riconosce che, per quanto l\u2019amore sia una benedizione, non pu\u00f2 definirci completamente. L\u2019amore \u00e8 un compagno del s\u00e9, non la sua base. Quando dimentichiamo questo, iniziamo ad aggrapparci non per amore, ma per dipendenza.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Insicurezza e fragilit\u00e0 della fiducia<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>L\u2019amore si fonda sulla fiducia, uno degli aspetti pi\u00f9 delicati. Richiede fede, non solo nell\u2019altro, ma anche in se stessi. La mancanza di questa fiducia genera insicurezza.&nbsp;L\u2019insicurezza distorce la percezione. Ci fa interpretare l\u2019ambiguit\u00e0 come pericolo, la distanza come rifiuto e l\u2019indipendenza come infedelt\u00e0. Sotto la sua influenza, cerchiamo costantemente rassicurazioni: prove di fedelt\u00e0, di dedizione, di permanenza.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Uno dei modi per ottenere questa rassicurazione \u00e8 la possessivit\u00e0. Tentiamo di ridurre l\u2019incertezza limitando la libert\u00e0 dell\u2019altro. Ma questa \u00e8 una strategia fallimentare. La fiducia non pu\u00f2 essere imposta; deve essere offerta.&nbsp;La filosofia sethiana invita ad accettare l\u2019incertezza. Riconosce che nulla pu\u00f2 essere completamente controllato o garantito. In amore, ci\u00f2 significa accettare che l\u2019altro abbia libert\u00e0, e quindi anche la possibilit\u00e0 di cambiare. Un amore che non accetta questo \u00e8 condizionato.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Amore e libert\u00e0: uno scontro filosofico<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Il conflitto tra amore e possessivit\u00e0 \u00e8, in fondo, uno scontro tra due desideri fondamentali: il desiderio di connessione e quello di sicurezza.&nbsp;La libert\u00e0 \u00e8 essenziale all\u2019amore. Richiede spazio, individualit\u00e0 e scelta. La possessivit\u00e0, invece, desidera certezza, stabilit\u00e0 e controllo.&nbsp;Questi desideri non sono facilmente compatibili. Amare con libert\u00e0 implica rischio: la possibilit\u00e0 di perdere, cambiare, affrontare l\u2019imprevedibile. Essere possessivi significa cercare di eliminare questo rischio, anche a costo dell\u2019altro.&nbsp;Questo solleva una domanda: l\u2019amore pu\u00f2 esistere senza rischio?&nbsp;La filosofia sethiana risponde con l\u2019accettazione. L\u2019amore non elimina l\u2019incertezza; vive dentro di essa. Non \u00e8 il controllo a proteggerlo, ma la fiducia a nutrirlo. \u00c8 la realt\u00e0 dell\u2019amore, non la sua permanenza, a renderlo bello.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Forze culturali e sociali<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oltre alla psicologia individuale, anche la cultura influenza il modo in cui viviamo l\u2019amore. Molte culture idealizzano passione, gelosia, ossessione ed esclusivit\u00e0 come segni di grande amore.&nbsp;Queste narrazioni confondono passione e possesso. Suggeriscono che amare intensamente significhi temere di perdere. Cos\u00ec, la possessivit\u00e0 non viene sempre vista come un problema, ma talvolta come prova di impegno.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tuttavia, questa visione ignora una verit\u00e0: l\u2019intensit\u00e0 non \u00e8 profondit\u00e0. La profondit\u00e0 dell\u2019amore non si misura da quanto tratteniamo qualcuno, ma dalla nostra capacit\u00e0 di lasciarlo libero.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Il carattere silenzioso dell\u2019amore autentico<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Una ragione per cui la possessivit\u00e0 spesso prevale \u00e8 che \u00e8 pi\u00f9 visibile. Si manifesta in azioni, domande, restrizioni, richieste. L\u2019amore puro, invece, \u00e8 silenzioso. Non ha bisogno di essere continuamente dimostrato.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Questo silenzio pu\u00f2 essere frainteso. Possiamo credere che, se non imponiamo attivamente la nostra presenza, non stiamo facendo abbastanza. Questo vuoto percepito viene riempito dalla possessivit\u00e0.&nbsp;La filosofia sethiana valorizza questo silenzio. Riconosce che la verit\u00e0 non ha bisogno di continue verifiche. L\u2019amore non deve essere costantemente dimostrato; deve essere vissuto in modo silenzioso e persistente.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lasciare andare: la differenza essenziale<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Alla base, la differenza tra amore e possessivit\u00e0 si manifesta in un gesto semplice ma profondo: lasciare andare.&nbsp;Nella possessivit\u00e0, temiamo di perdere e quindi stringiamo pi\u00f9 forte. Confondiamo il trattenere con l\u2019impegno. La libert\u00e0 appare come perdita.&nbsp;L\u2019amore, invece, agisce diversamente. Offre spazio, anche lo spazio per andare via. Non trattiene, ma accoglie. Non misura la propria forza dalla capacit\u00e0 di trattenere, ma dalla grazia nel lasciare.&nbsp;Se \u00e8 vero amore, non si perde nella libert\u00e0. Torna, non per obbligo, ma per scelta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Dalla possessivit\u00e0 alla consapevolezza<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Comprendere perch\u00e9 l\u2019amore diventa possessivo \u00e8 il primo passo verso il cambiamento. La possessivit\u00e0 non \u00e8 una condizione permanente, ma un atteggiamento che pu\u00f2 essere riconosciuto e trasformato.&nbsp;Il cambiamento inizia con la consapevolezza di s\u00e9. Dobbiamo distinguere tra amore e paura, tra connessione e controllo. Quando sentiamo il bisogno di trattenere, possiamo chiederci: \u00e8 fiducia o ansia?&nbsp;\u00c8 necessario anche sviluppare stabilit\u00e0 interiore. Pi\u00f9 ci sentiamo sicuri in noi stessi, meno dipendiamo dagli altri per il nostro valore. Questo riduce il controllo e aumenta la fiducia.&nbsp;Dobbiamo imparare a convivere con l\u2019incertezza. L\u2019amore non pu\u00f2 essere garantito n\u00e9 forzato. Pu\u00f2 solo essere vissuto nel presente, con apertura e accettazione.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Conclusione: amore senza possesso<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>L\u2019amore non \u00e8 destinato a diventare possessivo; \u00e8 la fragilit\u00e0 umana che lo rende tale. Desideriamo connessione, ma temiamo di perderla. Cerchiamo intimit\u00e0, ma fatichiamo ad accettare l\u2019insicurezza.&nbsp;La possessivit\u00e0 \u00e8 un tentativo di risolvere questa tensione, ma al costo della libert\u00e0, che \u00e8 essenziale all\u2019amore.&nbsp;Non possedere non significa non amare, ma amare consapevolmente. Significa riconoscere che l\u2019altro non \u00e8 nostro, ma un\u2019esperienza da vivere. La sicurezza non nasce dal controllo, ma dalla fiducia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Nella visione sethiana:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>La possessivit\u00e0 trattiene,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>nel silenzio della paura.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>L\u2019amore lascia andare,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>nella fiducia della verit\u00e0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Non abbandona mai davvero.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>E forse questa \u00e8 la verit\u00e0 finale\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>L\u2019amore non trattiene,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>rimane,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>anche quando sa<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>di non poter trattenere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Dr. Sethi K.C.&nbsp;&#8211;&nbsp;Autore<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Daman, India&nbsp;&#8211;&nbsp;Auckland, Nuova Zelanda<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"m_6621047242560769251m_5390215969151140080m_5507755309644590199m_-272154876994866707m_4802490650099312490m_-5649199013645026320docs-internal-guid-747d2c34-7fff-acab-a6a1-4c39aa25b3ca\"><strong>Why Does Our Love So Often Turn Possessive?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love hardly ever proclaims its metamorphosis. It does not state when it transforms its nature. It starts mildly, like some silent presence, some unspoken warmth, a feeling which does not seek attention but which is given, as it were, spontaneously. Love in its purest sense is free. It does not aim at controlling, defining, and limiting. It is just there, as a diffused light in a vacuous space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, at some point in the journey, the same love starts to strangle it. The feeling of freedom gradually turns into the feeling of control. What seemed to be trusted, starts doubting. And what gave space, starts to dread it. It is not an accident that this is a silent change of love into possessiveness. It is deeply wedded to the human condition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The question, however, is not how come that love is possessive, but what in us makes that possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Psychological Understandings: The Fear in the Name of Love.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The root of possessiveness is fear, it is subtle, unspoken, but very potent. Unadulterated love is not a coward. Neither is it clingy since it does not expect to lose. but fear does not spare human beings. We are aware of impermanence, that is, we are aware that whatever we appreciate can be deprived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is anxiety raised by this awareness. When we love a person, he or she will gain importance to our emotional stability. They feel comforted, meaningful and complete by their presence. But it is this very significance that causes us to be vulnerable. There is the fear of losing them, this turns out to be a cause of anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Psychologically, possessiveness is developed as a defence mechanism. It is a bid to have what seems insecure. We have the self-observation, we have the doubting, we have the holding when we have more to observe, to doubt, to grip, not because we love the more but because we fear the more. In this regard, possessiveness does not manifest love; it is a reaction to the panic that love creates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Clinging and the Trap of possession.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Attachment determines human relationships. Since we are young, we are taught to attach, to rely, and to find our safety in other people. It is on the basis of these attachments that our emotional world is based. Yet, they also make an illusion, the illusion of the fact that we are attached to something belonging to us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This illusion is especially high in love. We start to speak in a possessive language; my partner, my person, mine. Although this could sound innocent, it is a subtle way of building up the thought that the other individual is an extension of our own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is in this area that love starts to lose its purity philosophically. Love does not belong to anyone but is a recognition. It is the recognition of the other being as individual, independent and free. However, as we start to become attached to the point of possession, we start to mix connection with control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love as per the philosophy of Sethians is not holding, but a state of understanding. It is not concerned with possessing, but with seeing. It is not afraid of distance, because it is aware that it is true that things do not eat space. This view of relationships calls us to regard relationships as something to obtain, rather than as something to value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we do not sustain the balance, then we develop possessiveness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Role of Ego: Identity of Love.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The other stratum of this change is in the human ego. Love does not exist as pure emotion; it gets incorporated into our personality. When we are loved, we have the feeling of value and when we love someone we have the feeling of meaning. It is a relationship that gets tied to self-perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once this occurs, the stakes become different. It is no longer a question of connection, but validation. The process of losing the person whom we love starts to seem like losing a part of ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is here that possessiveness is worsened. It is not just that we are afraid of losing the other person but we are also afraid to lose the version of ourselves that is present through the other person. This loss is opposed by the ego. It tries to guard its identity which in most cases is by attempting to dominate the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is given silent credit in the Sethian thinking, the notion that as much as love is a blessing it cannot make us all that we are. Love is a friend of self and not its basis. Once we forget this, we start having hangs onto not because of love but because of dependency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Insecurity and Weakness of Trust.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love has its foundation on trust and is also one of the most delicate aspects of love. It involves faith, not only in the other person, but in oneself. The lack of this confidence leads to the establishment of insecurity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Insecurity distorts perception. It causes us to perceive ambiguity as danger, distance as rejection and independence as disloyalty. We start hoping to be assured all the time under its influence. We desire evidence, of faithfulness, of devotion, of permanency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the means of getting this reassurance is possessiveness. We strive to diminish uncertainty by restricting the freedom of the other person. This is however a faulty strategy. Trust can never be imposed, it should be offered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sethian Philosophy&nbsp; is a reflection that promotes tolerance of uncertainty. It is aware of the fact that nothing can be controlled or guaranteed. In love, this implies that the other person will have his freedom which comes with the chance of change. Any love that lacks the acceptance of this is conditional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Love and Freedom A Philosophical Brawl.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The conflict between love and possessiveness is at the base level a conflict between two basic desires the desire to be connected and the desire to feel secure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Freedom is the ingredient of love. It needs room, uniqueness and freedom of choice. On the contrary, possessiveness desires certainty. It desires certainties, stability and power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are desires that are not readily compatible. Freedom to love is risky, the chance of losing, changing, and becoming unpredictable. To become possessive is to strive to take away this risk, even to the price of the other individual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This philosophically brings up a good question, that is whether love can exist without risk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The response in the philosophy of Sethians is towards acceptance. Love does not aim at eradicating uncertainty but rather it should be present therein. Control does not secure it but trust enhances it. It is the reality of love that is beautiful rather than its permanence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cultural and Social Forces.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In addition to the psychology of the individual, there is also the cultural story that helps us to understand the way we experience love. Several cultures idealize passion- jealousy, obsession, and exclusivity are some of the things that are usually presented as an indication of great love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These stories are blurred with passion and possession. They propose that one should love passionately when the threat of losing the other person is experienced. This leads to possessiveness having not always been considered a problem but in some cases, it is perceived as a sign of commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nonetheless, intensity should not be confused with depth as this point of view does not take this aspect into account. There is no depth of love, which is determined by how we cling on to the person we are in love with but rather the ability to give the other person the freedom to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Silent Character of Real Love.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is one of the reasons why possessiveness usually dominates over love, as it is more evident. It manifests itself in the actions, questions, restrictions, demands. In the purest sense of the word, love is more silent. It is not necessarily expressed in a blatant manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This silence may be misconstrued. We might also believe that in case we are not actively enforcing our presence in the relationship, we are not doing enough. The perceived gap is filled up with possessiveness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the silent presence which is appreciated in Sethian philosophy. It appreciates the fact that truth need not be constantly verified. Love is not an aspect which has to be constantly demonstrated; it is one which has to be silent and persistent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Letting Go: The Differentiating Difference.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the most basic of the levels, the distinction between possessiveness and love is manifested in one simple and one deep thing- letting go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the aspect of possessiveness, we do not want to be deprived of anything since attachment is one that ties us with fear. We clench tighter and we hope that we hold on to something which we love. The idea of freedom is an illusion of loss, of something that is permanent. We mix on one hand being holding on and on the other hand being commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, love works in a different way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We leave space in love, the space to go. We know that it is not our place to hold the other person in, but rather in the experience. Love does not calculate itself by its power of retaining, but by its ability to give up in a manner that is graceful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Without losing it in freedom, then, when it is really love; and it comes back again, not by compulsion, but by will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This concept is very close to the concept of Sethian philosophy where love is perceived not as something of possession, but as something of presence, free, conscious, and deprived of the necessity to control. In this perception, relationships are not jails to obtain some kind of certainty, but areas to have the truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And to lose is not to let go. It is to trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Getting it out Possessiveness into Awareness.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The first thing that can change love is understanding the reasons why it turns out to be possessive. Possessiveness is not an irreparable state, it is an attitude, but an attitude that can be identified and reformed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The change starts with self-realization. We should know how to separate love and fear, having connection and control. When we have the impulse to find a grip we can say to ourselves: Is it a trust-grip or an anxiety-grip?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It also necessitates the development of inner-stability. The better we feel safe in ourselves then the less we depend on other people to determine our value. This minimizes the control factor and maximizes the aspect of trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We should also be taught to live with uncertainty. Love is something that is not guaranteed and neither can it be secured by force. One can only experience it in the present and openly and acceptingly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Summing up: Love Without Possession.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love does not fail to evolve into possessiveness, but it is human weakness. We are creatures who want to have a connection, but we are afraid to lose it. We want intimacy, but are unable to deal with insecurity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Attempting to solve this tension is possessiveness but this is done at the expense of something that makes love meaningful. There will be no complete love without freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not to possess, is not to love not to love, but to love in a conscious way. It is to acknowledge the fact that the other individual is not our possession, but one to be experienced. To seek security is not to be in control, but trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Sethian understanding:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Possessiveness holds on,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>of the silence which comes with rescue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love lets go,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>reliance on the fact that is true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>never truly leaves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And maybe that is the last fact\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Love does not hold,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>it stays,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>even when it knows that it cannot retain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dr Sethi K.C.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Author<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Daman,India<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Auckland,New Zealand<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>di\u00a0Krishan Chand Sethi L\u2019amore raramente proclama la sua metamorfosi. Non dichiara quando trasforma la propria natura. Inizia dolcemente, come una [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-88460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opiniones"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88460","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=88460"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88460\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":88462,"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88460\/revisions\/88462"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=88460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=88460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ecoitaliano.com.ar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=88460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}