Shakira’s Pictures

Bahtiyar Hidayet Azerbaijan

My religious friend Rafiq
Has only one comfort:
He will go to heaven after he dies.

He suffers from panic attacks.
His life passes in doubt and fear.
He finds peace only in his dreams.

But even that peace did not last long.

He had a dream…

He had just entered heaven.
Rivers of wine, lakes of milk,
Virgin beauties whose breasts had just begun to bud…

Just then
An angel came:

— Who brought this man here?
His place is in hell!

— Why?

— Because this man
Looked upon all the branches of heaven
As if they were temples of unbelievers.
He never went to restaurants,
Never drank wine,
Nor even looked at women as beautiful as angels.

Then, with a fiery rod,
The angel beat Rafiq,
Beating him all the way
To hell.

And Rafiq woke up
Screaming.

Now he finds no peace even in his dreams.
He lies sick in bed.

The doctor prescribed apricot vodka.
Out of fear, he drinks it like medicine.

With every drink,
One angel of heaven disappears,
And his condition gets worse.

I gave him a good consolation:

— Don’t be afraid. Hell is not such a bad place.
All the models will be there.
Famous female singers will be there.
You will watch concerts for free.

Is it really better
To carry an ablution vessel for the mullahs in heaven?

Rather than cooling off with a mullah,
I think it is better
To burn together with Shakira…

Now the walls of Rafiq’s room
Are decorated with pictures of Shakira.